7 Days Until Christmas

On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...warm thoughts, perhaps? Nothing. I'm so stressed out, I'm losing my mind. Seriously, if I don't keep myself busy, I get frantic and panicky. Why am I so stressed out?? I don't know. I'm a workaholic. I can't stop. I can't help myself. I went out to dinner with some friends a couple of nights ago and Ryan was, like, 'When do you have a day off?' and I'm, like, 'Um..the 22nd, 23rd..' and then Ryan went on and on about how I never have days off and how back in the first 2 years of college, I'd go straight to work right after class everday. I protested but truth be told, he's right. I thought about it afterwards and it's true; I don't stop working. I'm a workaholic and I can't stop myself. I guess I have nothing to stop me from working right now, nothing to keep me at home. Know what I mean? I've no one at home to go to...family doesn't count. Work keeps me busy, keeps me distracted from thoughts of loneliness, of separation, of homesickness. It also helps me keep my figure slim cuz I'm running and working all over the place. Now if I was back in England, on the other hand, I may not work as much. That's cuz I've got someone to keep me grounded. Ok, so I don't take days off, but I take holidays! I go on vacation and stuff like that. I feel so stressed though and I know I shouldn't. I don't even know why I'm stressing out like this. God, I feel the itch and call of retail therapy. This is what happens when I'm stressed; I feel the urge to go shopping and buy stuff. Makes me want to pull my hair out and scream. I can't go shopping. I've bought enough stuff for myself, I don't need anything - seriously - and I needn't be spending that money that I need to be saving up. Speaking of money, my paycheck from my internship should be arriving soon so I'll be able to buy my ticket home soon! YAY!!!! Oh happy day!! I can't wait, can't wait, can't wait! God, I feel like crying. I just want to crawl into Nick's arms and stay there. This is so difficult and it makes me want to scream. I'm pulling my hair and going mad. And why is my damn winamp playing all these sad songs randomly?!